When asked to give some marriage advice at my future Daughter-in-Love’s bridal shower, this is what I shared. I love how eager Josiah and Anna are to ask for wisdom.
Find out
Find out what his favorites are.
Favorite foods, favorite style of music, favorite type of movie, favorite genre of writing, favorite anything. Find out how he likes his coffee… how he likes his eggs… what sets him off… what makes his day. Find out.
Sure, take all the advice from all the women around you who love you both so very much. But in the end, sift it out by finding out your “together” style.
He likes things neat and tidy. He loves gourmet and authentic food. But he might someday settle for a house casually straightened and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, just to have the girl of his dreams curl up on his lap and choose to forget the cares of the day…together.
Find out what makes you tick in your best rhythm with him. Don’t just white-knuckle it through life for principle’s sake. Find out what makes you feel feminine and cared for. Find out what makes you feel loved and cherished. Don’t be a mystery for mysteries’ sake, but don’t be afraid to change, grow, and rediscover each season you are going through. Then share it with him so he knows. He cares.
Children will come and children will grow and eventually go. Your man, this man you have prayed for, waited for, and prepared for–will still be there, Lord willing. Find his heart, keep the fire strong and burning. Never let anything come between you. Talk though everything that matters. Sift out what doesn’t. And always fall asleep in his arms.
This life is lived once. The fruit is for keeps, and it’s readily available to all who ask God for His help. If you are ever stuck to know how to love him, ask His creator.
Find out, that you may live life to its fullest.
With love, Melinda Poling
As life would have it, the room was quiet until I began to read. That was the moment my one year old son wanted to be nursed. Anna tried to quiet the “niece commotion” going on all around her ankles. Eventually they spilled her water and Anna paused to clean up the mess. She handled the disruption in a life-that-is-normal sort of way. She’s definitely cut out for the job of wife and eventually mother.
I’m a wife and mom--trying to walk in the steps of Jesus.
Would you like to walk together? 
I am amazed at the wisdom coming from u, Melinda. I realize you
Have & continue to nurture ur amazing children, but the depth of
R Father’s wisdom is directly from Him. I am privileged to b ur Aunt. God bless u, David & fam
That means so much to me coming from You, Aunt Georgia, missionary extrodinaiar! Wisdom ia God’s sweet gift to us.We are but receivers and sharers of His gifts. Love you!
I expressed this privately and am so proud of you for posting this so I have the opportunity to say this publicly. Melinda it is astounding that you can point your firstborn son’s bride to Jesus and let go with such a pure heart of ease. The relationship you have with Josiah is so special it would be easy to squeeze him even more tightly at this time. By supernatural grace however, you release him, encouraging Anna to more fully discover your amazing boy. This is the power of Jesus in your life my friend, not something manufactured. It’s who you are. This marriage advice was not just words spoken to your Daughter-in-Love, it is testimony for all of us to trust in Jesus so much that loving and letting go can be a joyful celebration. Having the privilege of sharing this season with you I am even more humbled to call you my friend. Keep writing, God is using it to impact lives…like mine.
You are precious to me. A very special gift to cheer me along this sometimes rugged path. Thank you, my sparkly friend. God shines brightly through you!May the releasing of your songbird be just as sweet. The joy is in them following hard after God then they come back to cheer you wholeheartedly…only God!